Sunday 29 January 2012

You can leave your hat on!

We, in Pakistan, are odd schemers. While some have shifted their focus to the many possibilities that Mansoor Ijaz’s revelations may unleash, others are increasingly weary regarding his security arrangements. A few can already sense their bubble bursting and are doing what they can to make sure Ijaz makes that trip to Pakistan. Similarly, there are some who are putting all their energies into scaring off Mansoor Ijaz. The message is loud and clear: ‘You make this trip mister, and you’re going to be staying at Pakistan’s Hotel California – you can checkout anytime you like, but you can never leave!’ But there’s life beyond Mansoor Ijaz and we’ve got a lot more on our plate. Take our own security for instance.

Three lawyers were gunned down in Karachi on Wednesday, allegedly on sectarian grounds. While security officials remained cautious in pinning the blame on sectarian groups, lawyers across Pakistan went on strike. This was certainly an improvement over staging a sit-in outside the governor’s house, a practice recently witnessed in the case of slain scout Askari Raza. The body of Raza, amid a crowd of screaming protestors caught the attention of the media but not of the relevant authorities. Their demand to book the suspects identified as Raza’s killers fell on deaf ears. However, not everything in Pakistan gets a cold shoulder. The judicial commission investigating the Memogate affair kept its eyes and ears open for details on security arrangements for its protagonist, Mansoor Ijaz. Dear Mr Ijaz: sectarian killings are common in Pakistan. Although we hold national security issues in high regard, we have no security plans to safeguard our nationals. The fact that you are an American citizen may help, however the fact that you belong to a minority sect that is largely victimised in our part of the world, please enter at your own risk. The military’s security blanket may help, but then there are never any guarantees.

As Karachi crawled to normalcy after the lawyers’ killings, another three men were sprayed with bullets in Quetta. The dead included an inspector of the Federal Investigation Agency, a government employee and a television actor. Not a word of condemnation from the 17-member Parliamentary Committee set up by National Assembly Speaker Fehmida Mirza. The silence may have come as encouragement because more men were gunned down the next morning. This time, unknown assailants attacked a security check post in Sui leaving at least five security officers dead. But rather than expressing their dissatisfaction on the precarious security situation in Pakistan’s largest province, the Parliamentary Committee on National Security expressed their satisfaction over the arrangements made by the government to protect Mansoor Ijaz in the country.

If the situation in Karachi and Quetta wasn’t alarming enough, Punjab got even worse. Spurious drugs consumed by cardiac patients left at least three hundred in critical condition. While Punjab’s Health Department was deliberating a response, the number of patients affected by the contaminated drugs was rising. A few months ago it was the dengue virus that had engulfed the lives of hundreds of people in Punjab, owing to low platelets and white blood cell count. This time – with similar symptoms – the cause is faulty medicine. The PIC has thousands of people registered for free medicine and their negligence in this regard is nothing short of criminal. Chief Minister of Punjab, Shahbaz Sharif – also the acting health minister – has set up a committee to investigate the matter and promised a sum of five hundred thousand to each family of the deceased. Although Sharif may not have an immediate remedy for an endemic that his own health department’s negligence may have helped unleash, he has prescribed the best remedy for Mansoor Ijaz’s security. If the federal government does not provide security to Ijaz, the Punjab government will arrange for it. Seems like this may be one promise Sharif will stay true to (because he wants to). Shahbaz Sharif offered ‘adequate security’ if Ijaz chose to come to Lahore to record his statement in the Memogate scandal. He promised to take personal responsibility of Ijaz’s protection from the moment he lands to the second he departs. 

Sharif has, simultaneously, also extended an invitation to the judicial commission probing the controversial memo to come to Punjab to record Ijaz’s statement. Honorary members of the commission and Ijaz may choose to accept Sharif’s offer, provided that they are not suffering from cardiac ailments. If they are, they must bring their own medicine and just in case, also some mosquito repellent. There may still be a dengue mosquito lurking around somewhere.

And if Punjab is where Ijaz prefers to land, he must steer clear of Seemal Kamran. The Punjab Assembly minister of the PML-Q is one who believes in addressing issues by nipping them in the bud. Literally. Ms Kamran recently tabled a resolution demanding a complete ban on ‘objectionable musical concerts’ in all government and private educational institutions of the province. Imagine what she would think of a man who was lustily compering a wrestling match between two women!

Last but not least, this Pakistani-American with a boat-load of evidence must steer clear of the moral vigilantism of a certain TV show host with a reputation for stalking couples in parks. Though we know Ijaz prefers his entertainment in darkened rooms, this anchor may gather together a gaggle of women to condemn him on live television. Worse yet, she might corner him with his stripper of choice and scream: “shaadi karo, shaadi karo!”

But this particular anchor is clearly not the only one keeping an eye out for immoral acts. After all, the cry was raised by a group of good desi boys who recognised Ijaz and raised the moral alarm. Apparently it’s only okay for some people to look. We may not realise it yet, but there are larger problems staring us in the face. For all his foibles, Ijaz is removing the layers of our leaders’ hypocrisy. His demands for security and claims of having evidence proving complicity at the highest levels of government reveals a knowledge of the risks associated with any visit to Pakistan. He offers us the naked truth, but can we handle it?

We are odd strategists for sure. Possibly by the time Mansoor Ijaz’s truth is revealed, there may be more than just one man running for cover. Mansoor Ijaz may want to come in from the maelstrom, but he should keep his hat on, just in case.